THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN MY LOVE HANDLES: After a Recent Mid-Career Pivot, I Have Never Been More in Love With My Body
The mid-career pivot. Everyone seems to be having one, but I’m guessing your path doesn’t look—or smell—like mine. It presented itself out of sheer necessity: I found myself in need of extra income to make ends meet when I stopped receiving alimony payments from the dissolution of my 14-year marriage. I do have a day job as an AP clerk—but I would need to make up the monthly deficit literally to fund things like my electric and water bills so that I wouldn’t be living paycheck to paycheck.
I very, very briefly considered retail (I’d worked at The Limited as a college student) or taking on a side gig as a phone sex operator (I also did this in college—mostly to support my nightlife shenanigans and the occasional carton of Parliament Lights). But all of these solutions required the one thing I didn’t have: time. And between my day job, my daughter’s field hockey schedule, and date nights and weekends with my boyfriend who lives in another town it just couldn’t happen.
So this happened: I knew about a kink involving men who are absolutely driven wild by the smell of—sorry, I don’t how else to say it—pussy. That is, the lingering scent of pussy on a pair of dirty, well-worn panties. I knew there was a demand for this product and that I could supply it, literally while typing at my desk, going for a morning run, or grocery shopping. I looked into it to see if it was for me. Spoiler: It was.
I am now the sole proprietor and fantasy-spinner-in-chief of My World-Class Panties, a thriving brand with a loyal client following, a variety of revenue streams that could be classified as virtual sex work, and a gazillion filthy stories with which to entertain my closest friends.
"I have always, always had a high sex drive and what my childhood best friend describes as a 'magnetic' quality that brings all the boys to the yard."
Anyone who knows me and is in on my dirty little secret source of income is not surprised that I landed here. I have always, always had a high sex drive and what my childhood best friend describes as a “magnetic” quality that brings all the boys to the yard. Turns out this translates well over anonymous messaging apps. And the merchandise I’m delivering? Well, let’s just say it’s tailor-made for my target audience.
Sex has always been my thing, always on my mind, as vital to my existence as breathing. Even when it caused me tremendous anxiety. And guilt! When I’m messaging clients, I sometimes remember myself as a teenager, riding my bike across town to confession, absolutely convinced I was going hell. Oh girl, I wish I could tell her. One day when you’re 46 years old, people will be paying you for the very thing that is causing you so much distress. It will be the thing that brings you joy. It will feel like coming home.
The work really does feel like coming home to the real me. If these guys can’t tell me their most baroque fantasies, I mean who are they gonna call? And I kind of expected this. That selling panties would align so perfectly with my sexual identity.
What I didn’t expect was to fall head over heels in love with my body. It has become one of the best parts of the job. It all started with my first client, “Ryan,” who requested a photoshoot of my love handles after receiving the pair of panties he’d ordered (photoshoots are an add-one item on my menu of services). I knew that pictures would be part of the panty-selling business. No one wants to buy a product sight unseen. But I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that people might want to see other parts of my body.
"It all started with my first client, 'Ryan,' who requested a photoshoot of my love handles after receiving the pair of panties he’d ordered (photoshoots are an add-one item on my menu of services)."
I have always tried to have a really positive body image. I try not to focus too much on the good or the bad and just work with what I have. I am athletic but I also struggle with fluctuations in my weight that affect the way my clothes fit. When I find my clothes fitting too tightly it can be a bit discouraging. When I feel that way, I try to make changes. Eat better. Run more. Increase water, decrease wine.
At first, I didn’t understand Ryan’s request. So I confirmed what he wanted: Wear some tight jeans and photograph myself from behind with my muffin top squishing out over the waistband. So I found my tightest denim shorts (which I had already planned to donate if I didn’t think I was going to be able to lose 10 pounds), set up my tripod and went to work. At first, when I saw the pictures they made me feel a little self-conscious. But I figured I need to give the buyer what he wants! So off they went—five pictures of my love handles. Front and back—pictures of me standing with my tightest shorts on lifting up the bottom of my tank top so he could see my pooch as well. As soon as he received them he wrote to tell me how much he loved them and how sexy he thought I was. I was blown away.
I had to know, though, why the love handles? He said, via text, “In Japan, there’s a word, wabisabi. It means the beauty of imperfections. So often we only see perfect bodies. That becomes generic actually. You are the sexy of imperfection!”
At this, I went back and looked at the pictures again. I definitely saw love handles and a bit of a belly. But I also saw his point of view. I looked sexy. There was no doubt about it. Since then, I feel like my confidence has been boosted 1000%. I am still super active. I run and work out. But I feel like my body is where it needs to be. It’s taken care of itself. It’s not about losing the love handles. It’s about the confidence that exercise gives me. Even with these love handles, I basically walk around like I’m the sexiest woman on earth.
Wabisabi. What Ryan told me just made so much sense. I told him how much I loved that idea. “I want to be as real as possible with my clients,” I wrote. “I want to show them real.” And then I told him, “Thank you for your interest in my love handles.”
Now I approach the work I do with so much joy and self-assurance (a lot of my clients like a woman who takes charge anyway so…). I know any of my clients can go find pictures of a perfect woman on the Internet for free—in any kind of clothing, any position. But what they want to see is a real person. The beauty they appreciate is that of a woman they’ll never meet, working to pay the bills, and using her imperfections to do so.
As the founder of My World-Class Panties, Miss Amy has a passion—and flair—for all things sexy, risqué, and irreverent. A former phone sex operator (back in the 1990’s when you could only talk dirty on a landline!), she now sells her previously worn, unwashed unmentionables (and a variety of fantasy-fulfilling accoutrements) to a growing fan base of con-nose-seurs. Specializing in custom requests and a personal touch with every transaction. Zero judgment. Most kinks welcome. Complete discretion assured. Fall in love: https://www.reddit.com/